Looking out my window...

Starved Rock Retreat: Fibromyalgia, Depression and the CCC: Part 2

 
 

 
Cement Signage for CCC Campsite    Photograph by Sharon

  

Part 2

As we left home and Copper, I could tell The Chief was not taking a direct route. This is quite like him...to take the path unknown. Sometimes I'm not happy about such diversions, but I soon relaxed into the rural beauty and small communities we drove through. We had not mapped out our route and so, enjoyed many other diversions (er, we got a little lost).


We arrived a bit after sunset, checked in as I rode "Rosebud" my electric scooter into the lobby. Admittedly I was pooped. The last two days had used up all my spoons. (People who have Fibromyalgia know the "spoon" concept. For you who don't know, it has to do with allocating energy. If you use up all your spoons you are pooped.)


A nice, clean and recently renovated motel. I had reserved a designated wheelchair room with one king bed.  The bathroom was extra large to allow for a wheelchair. The best thing was the free Wi-Fi. The Chief had his laptop and I had my iPad2. (We were set to get us some bear, so to speak.)


When I woke up the next morning I couldn't move. Packing my suitcase had done me in. Again, part of having Fibromyalgia means that "using all one's spoons" in one day carries over into the next day or two. Activities need to be planned.


So, I stayed in the King size bed enjoyed being on-line and watched news and movies. This was the way I spent most of my time during the retreat. I'm not complaining, really. I mostly stay at home doing the same thing and I enjoy it. I have fun and learn things and write a blog (um, this one).


When I look back at my life so far I did a lot of things, active things, good things, bad things, exciting things, all the while working very hard. I don't have any regrets, at least not in that regard. I'm enjoying retirement the best way I can. Before Fibromyalgia I volunteered and gave my time to my community. I became interested in local politics, speaking out at public hearings. Then Fibro set in. I had to stop volunteering. BUT, I have computers, a PC in my office and an iPad2 in the bedroom. I'm always working on something. Finally, found a medicine that helps with pain. There are so many different parts of Fibromyalgia. So far the one I dislike the most is called "Fibro Fog." There are times I get confused, lose words, ask the same question again. Working on my blog has become more difficult because my fingers will at times type a totally different word than what I thought I typed. And, my mind wanders on paper. Oh, well.


 Starved Rock Outlook     Photograph by Sharon

Stay tuned for Part 3, which will come just when you think I forgot about it.

How To Ruin My Day: Earthquake, Tsunami, Nuclear Meltdown, Republican Ruses

 
Collage of Stock Photos Created by Sharon

The last few years I have had a growing love for circles which turned into 3D circles more fondly known as bubbles. I love their characteristics of grace, transparency and light reflections. For all their beauty and symbolism they have one huge defect. They burst.

Off hand, below are some of the burst bubbles that have recently ruined my day:

• Housing... I was at last able to purchase a condominium. This was just as the Housing market was beginning to rise. Wow! After about four years the value of our home increased by 40%. What an investment. And, then the bubble burst.
• Health... Neither of us were in A+ form, but well enough to enjoy our retirement by being physically able to do what we wanted. And, then the bubble burst about two or three years into our new life.
• Wealth... We were never "wealthy," but lived a comfortable middle class lifestyle. And, then the bubble burst and we have not received a cost of living increase in neither social security or pensions for the last two years even though costs have risen.
• Car... The last car we purchased was a wonderful Honda Odyssey. We thought this could be the last car we purchased if used and cared for properly and paid for it in cash. We could see the bubble burst as we neared and passed 200,000 miles driven due to unexpected usage.
• Grown children... We erroneously thought that once children were grown we would be on our own, so to speak. And then the bubble burst. How could we have been so naive? We are family forever.
• Humanism... We believe in the strength and goodness of people. The bubble burst, what with terrorists, tea baggers, and such. We still believe in the innate goodness of humans, but some need a little re-education.
• Earthquake Disaster-Free Zone... Except for tornadoes, we thought by living in the Midwest we were in a pretty safe part of the country. Bubble burst when we learned we live near one of the largest fault system in the country.
• Tsunami Disaster-Free... Sure, we're not near an ocean, but what about Lake Michigan? POP!
• Nuclear Energy is Clean and Safe... tell that to the Japanese people. Our bubble burst after listening to American Nuclear experts and learning just how unsafe our reactors have been.
• Republican Ruses... As a progressive Democrat, I've never really cared much for those Republican rascals. But, all and all, thought they were relatively benign since the Democrats would come along and hopefully fixed what ever was broken. That bubble didn't burst, it exploded this year. They ran on the economy and "jobs, jobs, jobs." They brought in the Tea Baggers. Yes, I know I'm being politically incorrect by not calling them the Tea Party. But at this moment the Tea Baggers is what they are: filled with ignorant bitterness and good only for dunking. With a majority in the House they proceeded to work on taking back women's, as well as children's, rights. Republican Governors ran on fixing the economy and then proceeded to take away union bargaining rights. They have taken the position that to get rid of the deficit they will take away entitlement programs for the elderly, the young, and the poor. This is instead of taxing the corporations that have made BILLIONS in profit and currently pay 0% in taxes. The Republican Congress has done everything in its power to make President Obama fail and become a one term president.
• Racial Equality... our first African-American President was such a wonderful happening. To be able to see that in my lifetime, my mother's lifetime, gave me great joy. And that bubble burst when I saw the racial hatred expressed by American Caucasians. Any newspaper or on line commentary regarding President Obama had comments that included the words: n****r, tar baby, Muslim, non-citizen, coon, darky, and jungle bunny.
• Religious Freedom and Tolerance... Even though our country was founded on freedom of religion that bubble was definitely busted when the Twin Towers came down.  Anything to do with Muslims was not tolerated. People actually thought about doing the Japan Internment Camps again, but with Muslims. Do we never learn when we've done something on the WRONG SIDE OF HISTORY? And then we have this guy:

 

Enough said. Enough bubbles burst. 

Walk Like An Egyptian: With Pride

 

An Egyptian boy his face painted with the colors of the Egyptian flag stands at an anti-government demonstrators barricade on Cairo's Tahrir square on February 05, 2011.

Photo by: AFP

 

I'm so proud of the Egyptian people for their adherence to non-violence. 18 days of peaceful demonstrations were only threatened by police and paid mob interference, as I understand the reported news. What an example for the rest of the world!

It gave me hope that, regardless of nationality, race, religion, or political leanings, people have the capacity to live together peacefully. As well as hope for the day women will be given their rights as human beings, equal and toe to toe with any man.

My country has yet to fulfill these dreams. We have much sadness in our history for human rights. My comfort is that, as a country, the United States of America is quite young. We have made many good changes as we have grown. We have many more to still achieve. But, as long as we can keep our Democracy working we will be able to make the changes needed.

Thank you to the Egyptian people for reminding me how important democracy is. You should walk proudly into your future of freedom.

Weather Alert: Blizzard of Snow and Ice Blankets Midwest

Path From Front Door thru Patio.
Photo by Sharon.

Blizzard Snow Covers Patio.
Photo by Sharon.
 

Blizzard Snow Looking Out Window.
Photo by Sharon.

  
Blizzard Snow Looking Out Window at Sculpture.
Photo By Sharon.

 
Blizzard Snow on Cone Flowers.
Photo by Sharon.

I hope you enjoy these photos. My wish was to put enough time between the actual storm and the photos to let the hardship that so many experienced to fade.

For my part, since I am found at home most of the time, I enjoyed the storm. Let me add, however, it did stir not so old memories of my commuting when I worked.

First the drive on icy and drift covered streets to the train station. Then, more likely than not, slip and fall on the outside train platform. Too early to be shoveled. Then wait for a train. Probably delayed because it runs from an electrical wire that will ice up and come down. Once on the train, hoping the heat works. Arriving at destination station, if all goes right, at least an hour late. Then walking through the underground tunnel to get to the other side of the street. For semi-claustrophobics this is not an easy task. And, for the final act, walking from the station to the office building door, holding onto a rope the city so kindly provided to keep from blowing and sliding in the wrong direction.

So, I am aware of storm hazzards. In fact, I did do some preparation for the storm: collected candles and matches, charged cell phone and ipod, bought extra food, made sure more blankets were available and called daughter to make sure she was also "ready."

Then, get under the covers and watch tv until the electricity goes out. Fortunately, for us, the electricity did not go out. And, we woke up to the beauty left behind as the blizzard headed eastward.

My motto: Be prepared and go to sleep!

How Dogs Support Our Troops

18 Veterans commit suicide a day. 4 Million dogs are euthanized every year. Dogs help Vets with PTSD (retrieved from @DustyRice on Twitter).

   

Powerful stories told here. Visit http://WWW.P2V.ORG/ for more information on the wonderful program.

Dogs can be a friend like no other living creature. They are always there when you need them. They snuggle and keep you warm. And, they don't gossip about anything you tell them.

Our best friend is Copper. You've met him before, but here he is again.

 
Copper The Cock-a-poo.
Picture by Sharon.

Copper is 7 years old this month. Since the Chief  retired, Copper has been his co-pilot on errand road trips. If you see one, you'll likely see the other.

Copper is the one wagging his tail.

Happy, Happy Birthday Baby!

October is my blog's birth month. Started it in October of 2009.

Probably never thought I would still be blogging after a year. If you go back to the first few blogs I wrote, you'll read about someone who had no idea why or what they were doing. I still don't.

But, this I do know. People are reading my posts. People are enjoying them. People have smiled while reading them. And people have written back to me.

My age is a secret. Only my husband, my mother, sister and brother know for sure when I was born. But, I am old enough to have memories. Yup. I have lived long enough to have memories, stories and lessons to remember. One of these days, I will trip up and remember something that is older than I am. And, that's when other people will know.

This may be one of those memories.

Pink and charcoal gray were very popular colors at one time. Felt skirts with loads of crinolines underneath. Collars of blouses turned up in the back. Hair styles called "D A's."  I had little bells on my "gym" shoe laces for basketball games in High School.

I never got bullied. But, I never fit in. I felt I wasn't pretty enough for the boys to like me. I wasn't smart enough to be in the "egghead" group, but I was too smart for the popular group. My collar was turned up and I identified with the "hoodies." But, I really didn't fit in there either.

"It gets better" is the new campaign for kids that are bullied. And it does. Once I got out of High School and into College everything changed for the better.

And then came last October 2009. Little did I know at the time I would find an other, newer format to use what creativity I had. And, that was to write. Write short posts on something called a "blog." And I found it because my health had deteriorated. I had taken an early retirement when all my sick, personal, and vacation days were used up at work. I had always worked at a job. Always. I decided to volunteer. Learned how to edit videos for local television.

And then another health blow: Fibromyalgia. It's a disease that hurts somewhere or everywhere. Movement causes pain. So I choose my activities very carefully. I enjoy being on my computer. I stay inside most of the time. I enjoy looking out my windows. And, I love blogging. I could focus on all the things I'm missing. I prefer to enjoy what I can do.

So the following is in honor of my blog's birthday. Be forewarned that while you are listening, I just might be dancing the "stroll."

Join me.

The Tune Weavers - Happy Happy Birthday Baby (Checker records) on 78 rpm! From 1958.

 

More Bathing Birdies In The Bathtub!

 

The above and the following are more photos of my baby birds.  This day had the largest number of them I have seen to date. I hope they don't bore you. If so, gently ignore them.

By the way, some of the water spray you will see is the result of two of the birds yelling at each other and splashing about.

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I must say they had the best time in the water. It was like watching your toddlers at the beach. So many. This time they were not limited to the bathtub* but as you can see there was a waiting line on the fence. And the feeders were full. I think I counted about 18 birds altogether. It was a grand time.

*I'm referring to the birdbath as a bathtub today. At first it was a slip of the tongue while talking to the Chief. But, then I became found of the idea.

This morning I woke up earlier than usual.  With my fibromyalgia sleeping patterns vary. Sometimes I stay up until it's time to get up. And other times I get up after only four hours of sleep. So, glad I'm retired. Because what time I go to bed or get up doesn't matter. When I was working and had insomnia I would get all twitchy with worry. Now I don't. I'm so happy that most of my illnesses waited to flare until after my retirement. Flare.... that's a nice word for "it hurts more."

Any way, I was up earlier than usual and saw the trees in a nice bright morning light.

 
Linden Tree in Morning Light.
Photo by Sharon.

 
Gussie's Tree In Morning Light.
Photo by Sharon.

Some of the trees I can see have already lost their leaves, so I shall concentrate on the remaining colors while they last.

The bare branches will have their turn at beauty when it snows or rains ice.

Hold Your Partner's Hand, Keep Your Name Tags On, And Follow Me

 
Crab Apples In Fall 2010            Photo by Sharon 

 

Validations. They come at the best times don't they?

I've worked most of my life. As a single mother for quite awhile, my life consisted of work and taking care of my daughter. At one point I worked my way up to a Department Manager in our local hospital. I supervised, hired, fired, did budgets, wrote proposals, became accredited in the field. I hated it. I did it very well for about 16 years. But, I hated it and the stress from that hate wore my health down.

After several layoffs at different places I wanted to retire early due to my health...and with the real opportunity of being able to do so, I did (thank you Chief).

My mom told me later she thought I would be unhappy when I retired, losing the validations I received through my job.

But, guess what? I found I could do other things that I never had the time for before. As a volunteer, I learned how to edit videos for broadcasting on our local community television station. It was the first time my "creative" side was demonstrated to the outside world. And I received many good validations for my effort.

My health deteriorated further the last year or so. The editing I loved to do, and did about 40 hours each week, ceased. I became somewhat limited in my physical abilities. Always loving the computer, I decided to try my hand at blogging about 11 months ago.

Recently my mom said to me "Sharon, I didn't know you could write!" Well, I didn't know either. I keep plugging away. Some readers and friends have told me I have a "gift." Sometimes I write about memories, sometimes about current events. Mostly, I write about looking out my window.

And, it's just amazing how much I see from my window. Everyday is like a field trip in my office chair. Right this very moment I am watching the Canadian Geese migrate from one window pane to another.

My hope is I can give a giggle or a warm snuggle to a reader... to someone who needs just that, just then. And ultimately, perhaps, the feeling that they are on a field trip, too.

Join me, take my hand. 

"Accepting Invitation Cardinal Comes To Visit - Shies From Paparazzi" And "I Don't Have A Supervisor!"

 
Cardinal Returns To Patio  Bad Photo by Sharon

 

 
Goldfinch In Sunshine  Photo By Sharon

I apologize for the cardinal picture above. I was so excited to see him in our patio. I took several pictures which looked good and clear on the viewing screen, but afterward saw that the camera setting had been changed. And that little boo-boo spoiled all the photos. This was the best of the worst and I did with it what I could. Result? Ugh.

The Goldfinch, on the other hand, willingly posed and provided me with, now, one of my favorite photos.

I Have No Supervisor!

A few years ago, in an effort to economize, I switched our cell phone service to Fonecrap (not real name to protect self from being sued). It was cheap and worked somewhat.

The program was based on prepaid service. Poor service, but service non-the-less. And then, it came time to also order a new phone. So on-line I ordered a new one plus about 2,000 minutes worth of usage. If I remember correctly, you could use those minutes however you wanted, but once they were gone, you had to order more.

The phone arrived. And, as most of you will know, I had to set it up, or as they called it "initialize" it for service. And, I had some difficulty with that small task I hadn't anticipated. The next day I tried the phone and it indicated that I had zero minutes. What? No minutes? Why just yesterday I had some 2,000 minutes and I hadn't called anyone yet.

There was nothing else for me to do but call customer service to fix it.

I called and the woman who answered said: "THanK YOU for cAlliNG PHonecrAP. HOw May i HELp yOU TODay?"

An aside: Okay, I'm not much good at vocally immitating accents, much less when using the printed word. So I'm typing what would sound rather melodic (or sing-song, take your pick).

My response: Hi, yes. I received my new phone and 2000 minutes yesterday and today it says I don't have ANY minutes.

"OnE mOMenT plEaSE...whILe LOok uP yOur aCcOunT."
Pause.
"yeS I sEe. yOU CUrREntly sHOw zERo MinUtES."

"I just purchased and received yesterday 2,000 minutes!"

"YEs i SEe tHAt. aND NOw yOU hAVe zERo mINUtes."

"I understand that it shows zero minutes, but it should show 2,000 minutes. I just got them yesterday. How could I have used them all up?"

"I SEe zERo mINuteS." 

This back and forth continued. Until I couldn't take it anymore, damn it to hell and whose job did you take anyway Miss India lady reading from a damn it to hell script!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then....

"I want to speak with your supervisor."

"I sEE yOU hAVe zERo mINUtes.l"

"I WANT to SPEAK with your supervisor!"

"I DON't haVe a sUPerVIsoR."

"WHAT? EVERYONE HAS A FU**kING SUPERVISOR AND I WANT TO SPEAK WITH YOURS!!!"

"ONe MOmeNT plEaSE."
Pause.

"HelLO. How may I HelP yOU?"

"Hello, I just...............rest of my story."

"CerTAInLy. I CAn heLP yoU With thAt. ONe moMEnt pLEasE........Okay, doES It sHOw aNY mINUteS nOW?"

"Yes, it shows I have 2,000 minutes. Thank you."

"PLeaSe cALl uS If yOU HaVE aNY MoRE DIFficultIEs."

At the time we were recently living where we are now and apparently it is known for poor cell phone reception. Once, sitting in a town restaurant I tried to call the Chief. I couldn't get him. He was looking at me through the restaurant window and couldn't get my signal, nor me, his.

 When we used our 2,000 minutes I switched to Verizon. Expensive? Yep. Do we get each other's calls? Yep.

'nough said.

 

Quote of the day:

"Now that I'm retired I don't have a supervisor. Except for God. And he's about to be out sourced."...S L Wheeler