Looking out my window...

Starved Rock Retreat: Fibromyalgia, Depression and the CCC: Part 3

Wood Sculpture Fox Ridge Starved Rock State Park 2011
Photograph by Sharon W Jensen

 

 

 Continuing the Starved Rock Retreat story... Part 3

 

 

 Apparently the Park has various artists sculpt the dead trees. They were all over the place and much more interesting than any Elvis on Black Velvet paintings I've seen on other journeys. The Fox Ridge is directly in front of the Lodge.

 

 

 What an interesting way of handling the death of trees. There were bears and other forest creatures tucked in here an there. If it weren't for the heat I would have looked at them a bit closer.

 

 

The following pictures are of the Lodge "lobby." What you see is very close to the reality. Though a large space, it has been decorated into conversational areas of various sizes, some with tables and chairs and others with comfortable sofas. The huge stone fireplace is magnificent. And like the grand canyon, no picture (of mine anyway) can do it justice.

 

 

 As is our way, we stayed in the lobby most of the time...reading (The Chief), me on the internet via iPad 2 and people watching (the two of us). I am a bird watcher, but when without birds, I slip into people watching quite easily.

 

 

  

Cozy Sofas in the Lobby
Photograph by Sharon W Jensen

 

 

 

Double Lit Lobby Seating Area
Photograph by Sharon W Jensen

 

 

 

Corner Lamp, Window and Logs
Photograph by Sharon W Jensen

 

 

 I would describe the decor style as rustic Arts and Crafts. Such a warm and inviting feeling. The log walls providing a safe place to dream and not worry about the wooden foxes and bears lurking outside.

 

 

Vast Space Made Cozy
Photograph by Sharon W  Jensen

 

 

 
Beams, Lights and Flag
Photograph by Sharon W Jensen

 

The Lobby's warmth is almost sucked up by the massive stone fireplace. And yet, it still belongs where it stands. Perhaps with a fire blazing, the continuum would flow from the floor, up the stone slabs to heights unseen.



 




Stone Slab Fire Place Reminiscent of Citizen Cane
Photograph by Sharon W Jensen

 





Stone Slabs Burn Like The Setting Sun
Photograph by Sharon W Jensen

 





White and Yellow Lighting
Photograph by Sharon W Jensen

 







Yellow Lights In Shadow
Photograph by Sharon W Jensen

 

 Early meals in the immense Dining Room allowed us to hear our own conversation. The menu had variety and the food was warm and good.

 

Wooden Chairs Waiting in The Dining Room
Photograph by Sharon W Jensen

 

 

 

 
Tables by The Windows
Photograph by Sharon W Jensen

  

A short promenade, so to speak, about the Lodge and visions of foliage, cabins, and flowers appear.

 

 

 

 

Always saving the best for last. The Chief gazing out the windows from another world.

 

We both felt like we belonged in this place. A quiet, restorative place. And, so...we will go back.

 

 

Post Script: I would just like to mention again that the CCC (Civilian Conservation Corps) were responsible for building this beautiful lodge back in the thirty's.  This was one of the government programs to help create jobs for the many unemployed during the Great Depression. Thank you to the men who built log cabin castles and to FDR for providing work for those men.

 

Starved Rock Retreat: Fibromyalgia, Depression and the CCC: Part 2

 
 

 
Cement Signage for CCC Campsite    Photograph by Sharon

  

Part 2

As we left home and Copper, I could tell The Chief was not taking a direct route. This is quite like him...to take the path unknown. Sometimes I'm not happy about such diversions, but I soon relaxed into the rural beauty and small communities we drove through. We had not mapped out our route and so, enjoyed many other diversions (er, we got a little lost).


We arrived a bit after sunset, checked in as I rode "Rosebud" my electric scooter into the lobby. Admittedly I was pooped. The last two days had used up all my spoons. (People who have Fibromyalgia know the "spoon" concept. For you who don't know, it has to do with allocating energy. If you use up all your spoons you are pooped.)


A nice, clean and recently renovated motel. I had reserved a designated wheelchair room with one king bed.  The bathroom was extra large to allow for a wheelchair. The best thing was the free Wi-Fi. The Chief had his laptop and I had my iPad2. (We were set to get us some bear, so to speak.)


When I woke up the next morning I couldn't move. Packing my suitcase had done me in. Again, part of having Fibromyalgia means that "using all one's spoons" in one day carries over into the next day or two. Activities need to be planned.


So, I stayed in the King size bed enjoyed being on-line and watched news and movies. This was the way I spent most of my time during the retreat. I'm not complaining, really. I mostly stay at home doing the same thing and I enjoy it. I have fun and learn things and write a blog (um, this one).


When I look back at my life so far I did a lot of things, active things, good things, bad things, exciting things, all the while working very hard. I don't have any regrets, at least not in that regard. I'm enjoying retirement the best way I can. Before Fibromyalgia I volunteered and gave my time to my community. I became interested in local politics, speaking out at public hearings. Then Fibro set in. I had to stop volunteering. BUT, I have computers, a PC in my office and an iPad2 in the bedroom. I'm always working on something. Finally, found a medicine that helps with pain. There are so many different parts of Fibromyalgia. So far the one I dislike the most is called "Fibro Fog." There are times I get confused, lose words, ask the same question again. Working on my blog has become more difficult because my fingers will at times type a totally different word than what I thought I typed. And, my mind wanders on paper. Oh, well.


 Starved Rock Outlook     Photograph by Sharon

Stay tuned for Part 3, which will come just when you think I forgot about it.

Destination of Retreat Disclosed: Starved Rock Illinois State Park

  
Illinois State Park  "Starved Rock" Photograph  by SWJensen

 

In my post about "Sparrow on The Ground" I talked about being depressed and, per my doctor, I needed to take several weeks away from home in a secret location.

Now that I'm back home I am able to disclose my chosen spot. As we live in Illinois we decided on going to one of our State Parks called "Starved Rock." While it is only a few hours away from us, I had never been there before. And, as many of our Parks are, it was gorgeous.

Since the trip was on such short notice we unfortunately had to stay in a motel for the duration as the Lodge Hotel was fully occupied (we've already decided to return with proper accommodations reserved).

Before we left we had to decide what to do with our doggy Copper. Originally I thought we would take him. It costs more to have him with us, but we are a pack after all. The plan was to spend the days under a shaded tree with Copper leashed appropriately, petting him to soothe the two of us, and reading a book via my IPad 2. And then, as the departure date arrived the weather decided to turn into a 100 degree heat wave being forecast to last throughout the entire stay.

For me it would have been better to be a snow storm. I have never tolerated heat well. Ask my mother. She knows. On a family trip with my parents and my adult self we drove from Illinois to California. No air conditioning in the car and camping along the way. After one long day's drive in ungodly heat I went crazy. Pulling at my short hair and long bangs (which continues to be my signature hairdo), sweating and shouting "I can't take this anymore!" I found some scissors, went to the bath house and proceeded to cut my bangs off as well as most of my hair. I've seen old movies where the starlet had to shave her hair as punishment for cavorting with Germans. It was NOT the first time I'd done this...the first time was when I was doped up and in unbearable pain with a migraine and my distorted thinking was if I cut off all my hair the pain with go with it.

Sorry, I got distracted. So here is this horrible heat wave upon us. It changed our plans because we weren't sure how to handle Copper. He couldn't be outside in the heat either. Neither did we want to leave him in a motel room alone as he howled his feelings of mistreatment and abandonment to the rest of the guests.

So we were down to two choices. We could leave him at the Vets for $30 a day, and more if we wanted them to let him out of his cage more than twice a day. Or, he could stay with our daughter and her three teenagers. While this was a better place than the Vets, it still had its downs. As you may know, a home with three teenagers is full of raging hormones. Copper is very sensitive to raging hormones. And, even more importantly, our daughter is not well and I thought the addition of our dog might cause more tension for her. When I spoke to her about Copper she told me of someone in our town who took dogs in.

Bob looked in the phone book and found the perfect solution. A lady who has two small dogs of her own and loves dogs in general takes in a dog or two as companions to hers. The fee was very acceptable. With a nice lady, a large fenced in yard, and two buddies, Copper would be in heaven. I was so relieved knowing we could leave him in a safe and happy place.

And leave him we did.

 
  

To be continued…

Hold Your Partner's Hand, Keep Your Name Tags On, And Follow Me

 
Crab Apples In Fall 2010            Photo by Sharon 

 

Validations. They come at the best times don't they?

I've worked most of my life. As a single mother for quite awhile, my life consisted of work and taking care of my daughter. At one point I worked my way up to a Department Manager in our local hospital. I supervised, hired, fired, did budgets, wrote proposals, became accredited in the field. I hated it. I did it very well for about 16 years. But, I hated it and the stress from that hate wore my health down.

After several layoffs at different places I wanted to retire early due to my health...and with the real opportunity of being able to do so, I did (thank you Chief).

My mom told me later she thought I would be unhappy when I retired, losing the validations I received through my job.

But, guess what? I found I could do other things that I never had the time for before. As a volunteer, I learned how to edit videos for broadcasting on our local community television station. It was the first time my "creative" side was demonstrated to the outside world. And I received many good validations for my effort.

My health deteriorated further the last year or so. The editing I loved to do, and did about 40 hours each week, ceased. I became somewhat limited in my physical abilities. Always loving the computer, I decided to try my hand at blogging about 11 months ago.

Recently my mom said to me "Sharon, I didn't know you could write!" Well, I didn't know either. I keep plugging away. Some readers and friends have told me I have a "gift." Sometimes I write about memories, sometimes about current events. Mostly, I write about looking out my window.

And, it's just amazing how much I see from my window. Everyday is like a field trip in my office chair. Right this very moment I am watching the Canadian Geese migrate from one window pane to another.

My hope is I can give a giggle or a warm snuggle to a reader... to someone who needs just that, just then. And ultimately, perhaps, the feeling that they are on a field trip, too.

Join me, take my hand.